so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
