just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bring me that man meat
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
