just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
