woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
