As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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