come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
