Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize