So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you would pick up someone in the library
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
