Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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