real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
