problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
