I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
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