He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
