Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
