i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
