I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It was confusing and full of hummus
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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