Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
pray to the hookup gods
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
