I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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