We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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