she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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