dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
