I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
