So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
