omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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