This girl is more easily done than said...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
