She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
