Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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