If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize