i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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