and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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