Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
