laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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