I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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