i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
