nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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