Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
