i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do vagina's smell?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
