Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Damn victory sex feels great
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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