are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We are all done wearing pants today
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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