if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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