i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
