What did we do last night that was yellow?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
