She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
