Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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