spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
