According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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