I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
