But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
