One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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