Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
