Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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