Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Randomize