I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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