maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
