I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
