If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize