i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
God I need to hump something, right now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
