How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
