it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
